The Street Where I Live

British by birth, New Yorker by nature.

relationships

How To Connect With Anyone (In Just 4 Minutes)

Love and MarriageAlexandra king1 Comment

I know it's been doing the rounds, but I watched this beautifully done film over the weekend, which asks six couples, from complete strangers to a couple on their fourth date to a darling husband and wife who have been married for over half a century to simply stare into each other's eyes for four minutes. Watch it if you haven't already.

Anyway, I was so moved by the character's reactions to this experiment that I immediately asked Isaac to do it with me. So last night, for four minutes, we stared at each other from opposite ends of the sofa, and...it was INSANE! At first, we were nervous, trying not to laugh, but by the end we both had tears in our eyes (I actually cried like a baby). Half way through, I suddenly had this weird sensation where I felt a whole body connection to him, as if the world had stopped turning, and all that was there us. I just saw his gorgeous, smart, funny face and couldn't believe I hadn't spent more time looking at it. It was this incredible feeling of deep connection. Isaac was impressed. In his own words "it was so interesting how it evolved. At first it felt funny, and we were both smiling, but then there was this feeling of intense comfort in looking into your eyes. I loved it". It's so true! Four minutes felt like a lifetime, and there were all these different phases from shyness to laughter to really intense affection and intimacy. Afterwards I felt so close to him, and, weirdly, more relaxed and compassionate generally. You've got to try it guys! (I now want to do it with everyone I love). So simple but so intense (I suppose it's a lot like this in many ways).

Will you guys try it too and report back? I would love to hear your stories!


The TSWIL Anti Valentine's Night In

Love and MarriageAlexandra king2 Comments
The TSWIL Anti Valentines night in

Oh Valentine's Day, you big bloody tease slash actual nightmare. Your heart's in the right place, but you're so commercial, so non-inclusive. What if you're happily single after ditching that A-hole you stayed with for way too long? What if you're beyond fatigued and depressed and a little heart sore after a year of mediocre dates? What if you're in a long-distance relationship because your beloved's job is in a different city or country? What if you're working because your pesky husband decided to open an art gallery last year? All theoretical, natch (hehe). But the answer to all of these quandaries, say I, is the same. Avoid the ambush of restaurant tables for two and weird club nights and sad red roses looking really embarrassed about the baby's breath. Stay home. If you're happily shacked up with your one and only, fabulous-every day is Valentines Day, write each other a beautiful love letter and make out. But if, for all the above reasons, you are dateless on Sunday, WHATEVER. Take a beautiful night for yourself, either solo or with a loving bestie. My recommendations for the perfect anti Valentines night in, going from left to right, below.

1) I'll Stand By You- The Letters of Sylvia Townsend Warner and Valentine Ackland, because these girls knew how to do romance 2) Cashmere legwarmers for off-duty baller-ina chic 3) Kneipp Pure Bliss Bath Salts for the most uplifting aromatherapy soak 4) This candle, to burn away any bad penis karma 5) Heavenly smelling Aesop Resolute body lotion for post bath moisturizing 5) When Harry Met Sally (plus anything and everything by Nora Ephron) This scene gets me every time 6) A sexy, comfy set, because one doesn't need to negate the other 7) A sage stick for smudging your home and readying it for new love 7) A nice bottle of Vino. You can't go wrong with Oyster Bay SV 8) Take out, obviously.