The Street Where I Live

British by birth, New Yorker by nature.

How To Connect With Anyone (In Just 4 Minutes)

Love and MarriageAlexandra king1 Comment

I know it's been doing the rounds, but I watched this beautifully done film over the weekend, which asks six couples, from complete strangers to a couple on their fourth date to a darling husband and wife who have been married for over half a century to simply stare into each other's eyes for four minutes. Watch it if you haven't already.

Anyway, I was so moved by the character's reactions to this experiment that I immediately asked Isaac to do it with me. So last night, for four minutes, we stared at each other from opposite ends of the sofa, and...it was INSANE! At first, we were nervous, trying not to laugh, but by the end we both had tears in our eyes (I actually cried like a baby). Half way through, I suddenly had this weird sensation where I felt a whole body connection to him, as if the world had stopped turning, and all that was there us. I just saw his gorgeous, smart, funny face and couldn't believe I hadn't spent more time looking at it. It was this incredible feeling of deep connection. Isaac was impressed. In his own words "it was so interesting how it evolved. At first it felt funny, and we were both smiling, but then there was this feeling of intense comfort in looking into your eyes. I loved it". It's so true! Four minutes felt like a lifetime, and there were all these different phases from shyness to laughter to really intense affection and intimacy. Afterwards I felt so close to him, and, weirdly, more relaxed and compassionate generally. You've got to try it guys! (I now want to do it with everyone I love). So simple but so intense (I suppose it's a lot like this in many ways).

Will you guys try it too and report back? I would love to hear your stories!